Back in 2020 while working from home during the quarantine, my children challenged me to watch all the Marvel movies.  The reason is because i had never watched one and had no desire to. (much like Harry Potter, Star Wars or Dr Who) However, i accepted their challenge...but with one caveat, I get to review the movies publicly on FB. This turned out to be fun!  I have included my reviews below for some laughs!  Now, i watched them in the order they gave me. Couldn't remember exactly the list so these are probably NOT in order of watch date.

Captain America
. too long. Too much dang dialogue! Just shoot people, beat them up and move on! I was not happy Bucky fell from the plane. That red dude looked like Jim Carey in The Mask! I did like the glowy box that seemed to be causing so much drama. Of course my Kid ,Kala Fearneyhough, is ZERO help, when I text asking questions. It wasn’t terrible...just gotta get used to it. I’ll keep watching them. Captain Marvel is next....stay tuned. — feeling conflicted.

Iron Man
My understanding is that he is a man with a heart that is "not metal" or not the glowy square thing ( as my daughter so sweetly told me as she laughed). I get the plot, i liked that the robot assistant that kept hosing him down was the best part! Also, the soundtrack was pretty good. One question, where do you buy shirts with holes in the middle of your chest for a glowy circle thing? Asking for a friend.

 

Hulk:
Well...it seems to be an underlying Beauty and the beast theme. Except i didnt see one teapot sing. Hows a movie gonna start with all that action? At least work up to it! The whole movie was him acting like the car crusher at the junk yard. Ugh. And how is Lou Ferrigno gonna show up lookin like he drank from the fountain of youth?! While i was not a fan of this one...i did enjoy that a very large green thing could do parkour so well. My only question is ..why is he so angry? Did the green juice do that do it? A bad childhood that surfaces when hes green? Or is he just an angry mangry? Inquiring minds wanna know.

 

Iron Man 2:
I like the relationship with him and Pepper, funny. Not enough funny moments in this one, eh. The bad guy was cool throwing that electricity around. No wonder it takes so much money to make these movies, theyre always blowing crap up! I would not wanna be that janitor. How does the eye patch guy keep poppin up places? Anywho...on to Thor.

 

Thor
Thor...A spoiled kid who learned nothing growing up and got spanked for it! Eventually though...I see his hard head finally woke up. Now...how could everyone NOT see Loki was no good. On the low brat! I find the hammer similar to that of the sword in the stone—while not as cute as the Disney movie haha. I need more info about the ice people..you suppose they’re so mean cause they’re cold all the time?! I would be—I like the sunshine! The best part was the see through bridge that lit up multi colored when you walk on it—yes! Note to self : check Home Depot for that flooring. What about the big dog lookin tyranesaurus Rex ice creature “release the kraken!” All in all wasn’t bad—some humor.
Also....the glowy box is back I see!
** side note..is it just me or do these characters remind you of Wizard of Oz? Stark—wanted a heart, Cap Marvel chic wanted to be brave and Thor needed to use his brain. ??

The Avengers
Apparently trying to bring a group of people together from different places takes some work—as witnessed in this movie. In the beginning they all acted like apes during mating season fighting over a female “I’m the man” “no I’m the man”—all because of a glowy box. 🤦‍♀️the Hulk got cuter( ijs) And Loki—this dude here reminded me of an episode of criminal minds taking someone’s eye. There was some humor “he’s adopted”-Thor , Hulk punching Thor & the best—Hulk grabbing Loki and slamming him on the floor over and over 😂 oh boy “puny god” 😂😂😂how many times has that image run through my head with people?! Is Jarvis a real dude? And who the heck is gonna clean up the giant monster that fell on the last building? It wasn’t bad...I’m still waiting to love something

Iron Man 3:
Once again starting off with big boom! My concern is can the rest of the movie live up to all that action..kinda like that first bite of a beautiful lookin cake only to have it taste like dirt. The kid was a nice addition, Tony was a little more ...nah, he was still a sarcastic ego maniac. That chic that got blown up in the diner—worst wig ever. Did nothing for her. Now the grundgy old dude “master” is really just a narcoleptic weirdo, imagine that. Looks like Pepper finally got to really take out her aggression on someone 😁 girl power! 😂 Oh, so now his glowy chest thingy is gone🙄 I would say all in all it didn’t taste like dirt...more like an Oreo. Then again—I don’t like Oreos.
Ps...the “tough guy” always smacking on gum...didn’t he look like the policeman from the village people in the end???

Thor: Dark World
The Aether!? Just cause you add an “A” to it doesn’t make less of a noxious gas, ijs.
Loki is big mad about Thor being favored by daddy...big baby. Furthermore...he needs a trip to the beach or something, he’s so pale!
Oh how I’ve missed the sparkley bridge...I still want flooring like that.
Sparkley glowy circle around the city was so pretty til the dark dude broke it.rude!
Ok now wait...how come a world that seems medieval like has bad guys with laser guns like Star Wars!? Is this like a cross over movie? Where’s a light saber when you need one?
idris...thank you for being in this movie. You made those 5 min of my life have meaning again.
I loved that Thor hung his hammer up when he walked in the door -what a gentleman.
The doggy-saurus is back and he ate the bad guy—that made me laugh out loud.
Malekin kinda reminds me of Jafar from Alladin...ego maniac making a big show with no follow thru.
Now there’s a red glowy thing..🤦‍♀️ who write this stuff? Glowy things, sparkly things...middle school kids from the 80s wrote this right?!
My daughter Kala is a jerk for not answering my question🤨 I got it now!!

Guardians of the Galaxy
Why is there so much metal in these galaxy places? If they’re suppose to be so advanced why so dirty too?! Ugh
Anywho, it kinda started feeling like I was watching Ferris Beuller run from the truancy officer( the blue dude with the brake light for a Mohawk) and his side kick Kirk from Stars hollow...he’s still an idiot. A cranky raccoon , while funny at times, I really wanted to put him in a bag and release him back to the wild before drop kicking him—irritating.
I liked the gray dude with the red tattoos or were those scars? Couldnt tell, but he was cool.
The dark bad guy was just dumb. I mean do they have a school for bad guys to attend to teach them how to speak cryptically and with a deep raspy voice?! I’ve seen very petite women with a soft voice turn into a serial killer, are they suppose to be scarey?! Oh just drink some hot tea and clear ya throat already.
The blue girl with the metal body —let’s just call her the twisted sister . All she did was pout and yell at everyone else when she couldn’t get the job done. I suppose she’s alive somewhere and will be back 🙄 the green girl was yet another “badass” chic who had a crappy life and is now learning how to feel —blah blah—old news. Find a new plot people.
As for Groot...he is the only dude that made sense. A tree of few words but made perfect sense to me. I’m gonna start answering everyone like that..”I am La La”
....beuller....beuller.....
**side note...don’t think I didn’t notice that the now glowy box is replaced with a metal orb holding a glowy rock. Which I assume will come into play eventually.

Avengers: Age of ultron
Well well well....here we go again.
Fighting with bad guys. Fighting amongst themselves. *snooze fest*
When the shaggy lookin kid was telling his story to the Silver robot...I kept thinking, why is he wasting his breath? That dude wasn’t listening . He was probably making a shopping list of stuff needed to create a body, who he wanted to get rid of and what’s the first thing he’s gonna do when he beats the avengers. Probably go to Disney World.
It’s amazing how they can be so tough then all of a sudden one little road block and they are doubting their abilities. Geez! How much coddling and pats on the back do they need?! They are beginning to get on my nerves.
Hulk seriously needs anger management. Who pays for the damages done to the city?
*snoring* what? Wait ...did I fall asleep again?! Dear lord—worst yet! They really had zero story line. Coulda saved a lot of my time and their money and just said “hey, here is 4 new avengers” 🤦‍♀️
Where is groot when I need him?!

Ant Man
Take a little “honey I shrunk the kids” mixed with “captain America”, side bar of “the pacifier” mixed with a little bit of “a bugs life”—you have Ant Man.
I like the dude who played him, funny. The addition of TI, always a plus. ( how does he keep that beanie cap on his head!?)
When the winged dude showed up all I could think was “lieutenant Dan, you got your wings..magic wings” cause I’m pretty sure I remember he lost them somewhere.
Why did Mary’s little lamb have to die? Huh? Now she’s gonna have to be “everywhere” alone.
The story line was better, probably cause it had bugs in it and I like nature. Ants are pretty resourceful, except when they attack you in your bed( NOT a fond memory)
Big thumbs down for killing “Ant-Tony” ...he just got a starring role and poof. He’s snuffed out🤨 the yellow jacket was dumb! He had no idea what the heck he was doing. Just willy nilly shooting . Oh well, he got his in the end...just like the yellow jackets that mess with me by the pool! Squish!
Dear Lawd, another Captain America!? This goody too-shoes is gonna grind my nerves for another hour and a half.
I didn’t hate it. Still waiting for one to blow me away!not literally Jordan Hughes don’t get any ideas

Captain America:Civil War
So, all these movies—all this fighting is because of Stark? 🤦‍♀️ basically, he’s Megamind . Big head ego maniac with Oprah money . “You get a leg and you get an arm..you get to fly and you get to kiss ass”
I was kinda disappointed the other winter soldiers didn’t get to show off. Of course something tells me that ain’t over.
NOT a good soundtrack—another blah blah blah talky movie. The red dude with the glowy rock in his head is so chill—like Chong after burnin one in his van.
It’s about time someone answered my question about what happens when these “hero’s” make a mess in a city! Now look at em. Mama called a babysitter to keep an eye on them, cause Daddys ego wouldn’t allow him to take responsibility.
Spider-Man?!? More like spider boy—what the heck!? We have AntMan, Spider-Man, IronMan, Cap America—-and Clint. He musta missed the business meeting to pull his hero name from a hat. Oh and the eyepatch dude—we will call him The Roach, as apparently he don’t die!
Somebody tell me who the old man is that has been in all the movies..space man, bartender, fed ex guy....beuller? Beuller?
I’m guessing the angry kitty cat with the claws will be another movie.

Dr Strange

I ain’t gonna lie—-I just knew Kala Fearneyhough was trying to get me into Dr Who with this one. While he is a bit of a cranky strange Dr House—not the same show.
I feel like everyone is in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended a scientific experimental unexpected“hero”. I was just heading out for coffee one day and BAM now I can do magical stuff. LoL my life ain’t that exciting 😂
So many great things in this movie...the Mr Magoriums doors that change where you go, the Labrynths moving stairs and walls—“babe with the power..power of voodoo who do you do” and guest staring the Ice lady from Narnia... where did her mane go?! Eek
I liked the colorful realms and places they went, the way they stopped time and reversed it! That’s what the avengers need to clean up their messes hahaha
My favorite part was the Groundhog Day scene where he sounded like a toddler wearing a mother down “hey momo” “hey Mo Mo” until he was like “what do you want just leave me alone!” It pays to act like a child sometimes I suppose.
Ps...I saw another glowy rock!
So Kala and Jordan Hughes y’all might have won me over with this one. —

 

Guardians of the galaxy 2
Let me get this straight..a sea creature comes out of the stars lookin like the kracken with rows of shark teeth—seems about right for these movies. I’m amused that the gold finger people are not even flying the ships but simply playing a game of galactica...how retro. And badly I might add. I was impressed with more color in this one. Lots of glowy things and how bout those multi colored bubbles—pretty cool. How the heck did Rocky land a roll in this? Not really a boxing sorta scenario. Matter fact he didn’t even throw a punch, smh. Willie wonkas chocolate factory made a debut with the fake universe he created. If it’s too good to be true, it usually is. I kept waiting for the Mantis girl to eat the grey guy—-is that what they do? Another disappointment. Also, those lizard things musta got jobs after Holes in this movie—minus the neck wings. 😂
Yay for adopted dads everywhere!
Girls, when it’s my time to go, there better be some kinda light show like the blue dude had—and I wanna dissipate into a sea of colorful bubbles too.
Again, little groot, stole the show! Is there a groot movie?
I will concede to this—so far this movie was my favorite.

 

Spider man: Homecoming
That big dude is responsible for the spider boy? Good lord, who thought that was a good idea. He needs some discipline.I FF through a few fight scenes—admittedly.
Hey, did “Mr Mom” play Batman once?
Well..I do like the pink glowy thing.
And how bout..his friend said “GLOWY THiNG” !!!!!
John Hughes should feel proud of the Pretty n pink/sixteen candles vibe this film had—even had an Asian guy!( didn’t have much else)
Mr Mom looked like The guy from How to train your dragon made his wings—-not very spicy, ya know.
This movie was more like a long commercial

Thor: Ragnarok
I ain’t gonna lie..when I saw this movie title I thought—“Thor...the ragamuffin.😂😂🤷🏼‍♀️
Big sis is back and bossing everyone around. Much like my eldest Jordan Hughes growing up. She wrote, produced, starred in and directed all play times with whomever was around. No one was safe! Had Kala Fearneyhough , my youngest, had a Loki to team up with Jordan May not have stood a chance 😂 & big sis broke his toy hammer...think she was mad all she got was an ugly hat?
The colorful Jeff Goldblum was a fabulous addition! I have loved him as an actor since The Fly ( if you haven’t seen it—watch it—but don’t watch it while eating dinner 🤮)
The humor was back in this one and I laughed out loud several times—the big green guy—who knew he was funny?!
My sparkley bridge was back 😍
The best part—my previous reference to Willie Wonka—-told y’all! They played the song! Love it!
Idris...thank you for your appearance 🥰
I actually enjoyed this one too

 

The Black Panther
What a beautiful place.
I’m constantly amazed how all the natural lookin places have all this technology hidden in it—-anywho. The Marvel movies have more plot twist than Nikki and Victor on The young and the restless. Sheesh. Who can keep up!?
Forget I asked I’m sure one of you could try and explain it—but really idc.
The king did come off a little wimpy at first—but I got it. However, the gorilla dude—why is he barking like a dog, sound like a bunch of frat boys. Men! But I did like him..he was funny and cute!
The bad dude with the bumpily skin designs—I wanted to knock his entitled ass out! While I get he( just like EVERYBODY) has a crappy past, no need to be a jerk face.
Another glowy thing—is everything radioactive in these movies?
I think I kinda liked this one too

Infinity wars
Sooooo, this big Shrek on steroids is a little ocd...everything in balance. Do you suppose he also turns the labels on his canned good the same way?
Ok, Cap, I see you. Showin up lookin all rugged...nice😉 Bahahaha—Tony called that guy Squidward! 😂😂
I was pleased to see Alladins magic carpet got a role as Dr Stranges cape.
That is one big “dwarf”? 🤨
Wakanda...you showed up! I prefer the natural order of fighting -minus all this sci-fi stuff. Thankfully this fight scene wasn’t 4 hours long like Lord of the Rings2...just shoot me now!
Man...they got their butts kicked!
Wait just a dang minute—-they all turned into corn flakes? Didn’t the ant man people turn to cornflakes too?? What is this madness you speak of!? I need answers.
***i almost forgot—thanks Sparkles Quintam***
The glowy things! I got to see them all. Oh and no one thought to tell me the glowy box was really just a container for a tiny glowy rock!? Really guys—you let me go on and on

AntMan & Wasp
What a waste of movie reel ( not that they use those anymore—showing my age)
Why was his made?
Besides a couple of funny one liners—nada.
Addition of news actors 🤷🏼‍♀️ eh.
I liked the sparkley place they found her mom, very pretty.
What’s that my mama used to say “like the perils of Pauline” same ole stuff different movie. The any guy is funny and a good actor, but it just made no sense to me.
Any thoughts I’ll take them—but again—I’ll go watch the grass grow for an hour and a half instead

 

Captain Marvel
Ok. I finished Captain Marvel. I liked it because there was humor in it. The cat was a good addition. I understand the glowy box now & why what’s his name wears an eye patch. As an artist I can appreciate that different people/beings are multicolored in these films. Soooo...basically, I don’t hate them yet.

 

Endgame-
Didnt know what i was in for with all these marvel movies. They gave me a list and i began watching. End game was the last one. I still didnt get my Toms "marvel " shoes either!

I didnt hate it. I was disappointed at how Thor looked. Oh lawd, how can he do anything? I guess cause he was "worthy" and can still do all the things. The fight scenes made more sense and didnt last too long. Which i prefer, cause all that fighting just goes on and on. Just kill them and move on already! The same thing happens in all movies. The good guys are winning, then they arent. Then something rises up out of the ground and the good guys are all of a sudden like " OMG whatever will we do?" But of course something deep inside tells them they have what they need to overcome and ...you know the rest of the story. <insert eyeroll here>
I get that its not my thing so i make fun. Gimme a break. The flying metal centipedes were pretty cool. Stark had alot of money and all these things out in the universe can come up with all the cool gadgets---where did they get the money!? The centipedes reminded me of the flying dog thing in the Avatar animated series. The furry flying oompa loompa?!
Where did the Pegasus come from???!! Did i miss it in another movie? All that dialog in the movies gets real old. stop talking and just do stuff, sheesh. I did enjoy the glowy bridge, glowy rocks, etc.
I was not happy that the big red guy died. I did enjoy the movie, probably cause it was the last one. I was happy all the folks got closure. Happy that Hulk and Bruce almighty decided to live together in that body. I LOVE the glowy things. SOMEONE should have told me that the glowy box is a glowing box. But NOOOOOOOOOO its a glowy rock in a box. Seriously !?

 

Of all the movies i enjoyed Dr Strange and the 2nd Guardians of the Galaxy.